Fairytales and romance movies have conditioned every person to believe that marriage and romantic relationships are a walk in the park. However, the truth couldn’t be further from our fantasies.
The road to relationships can be a hard one to maneuver, especially considering how much the ideologies and perspectives of people can differ.
If you are facing relationship issues and wish to resolve them through couples counselling, there are a few things you will need to consider and do to be able to make the most out of couples counselling.
What Is Couples Counselling?
Couples counselling or couples therapy is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on you and your partner(s) issues that affect your romantic relationship. The most common way of counselling requires the therapist to break the ice and build trust and gradually work through the couples’ problems and help them come to a conclusion and make a decision regarding the progress of their relationship.
Every Relationship Has Problems
Social Media has conditioned a greater part of our minds to believe in a picture-perfect happily ever after. However that is not the case, every relationship comes with its struggles and if you choose to get a couples counselor it is important to learn and grow from struggles.
Though problems are rather common in any sort of relationship, what matters the most is how you deal with them.
Research Is Vital
It is never a bad idea to do your research before booking your first appointment so you have an idea of what to expect. Aside from researching counselling methods, try looking into a good counselor instead of walking into the first available appointment you find.
Searching for the right counselor is important, so make sure to take your time and do the proper investigation for good quality counselling.
Also searching for couples counselling reviews online can help to see if other couples have shared their experiences in therapy, good and bad.
Make Sure You Are At Ease
Much like any sort of counselling, it is important for the client to feel comfortable enough to feel vulnerable and bare themselves to work on their hiccups. If you aren’t at ease with your therapist there is a high chance you won’t be likely to share some details of your life, which may decrease the success rate of your counselling.
Go Big Or Go Home
Counselling is usually taken into account as a last effort to mend a relationship, which leaves most people too defeated or tired to try. It is natural to feel like you’re at a dead-end, however, if you don’t give or try your best to work through your struggles, it is likely that your relationship may not move forward at the pace you wish it to.
Walk In With An Open Mind
There is a fair chance that your counselor may not use the same ideologies you researched or wished they would use. Sometimes the exercises can look a bit childish, or against your usual beliefs, however, the help your counselor offers may help bring you and your partner(s) closer than ever!
Make An Effort To Attend
Sometimes work, business and other personal matters can create a barrier between you and your significant others. If you are choosing to work on your relationship with a counselor, it is important to prioritize your appointments over other meetings or find a way to make sure you don’t miss your counselling sessions.
Aside from simply showing up regularly, you should also make sure to do your homework. Talking about your issues in the counselor’s office is one thing, but implementing those teachings in real-life scenarios is another effort you should make. Most counselors give their patients assignments to complete, for example going out on a date or so.
Making a little bit of effort can truly go the long way when it comes to relationships!
All The Good Things Take Time
A lot of times people look into therapy and counselling as a one-stop shop, but that is not the case. It is natural to expect the tangled knots in your relationship to be smoothened after just one or two sessions. However, it is important to realize that it takes time for peoples’ mindsets and habits to change.
Breaking old habits is not only rather difficult but time-consuming as well. Although there is no need to get disheartened, because as long as you have the drive to work on your relationship and believe that it is worth all the labor, not even month-long sessions can break your spirit!
Focus On The Big Picture (And Yourself)
People usually take couples counselling when there is a strain on the relationship, caused either by an external force or the behavior of the partners. It is easier to pinpoint weak areas in your partner(s). However, it is not fruitful trying to change others. Rather, try to focus on yourself and better yourself, since constantly shifting the blame between each other not only wastes precious time but also drives you further into quicksand.
Keep An End Goal In Mind
Before you even take your first session, make sure to create a goal list, or a bucket list of sorts, so you can go into your appointments with a clear headspace. Additionally, when you are aware of what direction you want to take your session, you will automatically feel more confident and empowered during your counselling.
Having an end vision, no matter how detailed or loosely put together, gives you and your partner(s) the motivation to do their part in couples counselling.
Give Your Feedback
After every counselling session, make sure to let your counselor know what you think about their work and how they could help you better. It is important to be able to feel comfortable with them, to critique them, and give them your comments as they are working to make your life better, and no one knows you better than yourself!
Along with that, let your counselor and partner(s) know what you are expecting and how you feel constantly and the other way round, as it is crucial to stay on the same page.
Realizing that your relationship needs work and making the decision to take couples counselling is not easy. It requires a great deal of emotional vulnerability to admit your wrongs and work on them, but as long as you keep some of these tips in mind, you will be able to breathe much easier in your relationship and perhaps come out even stronger than you thought!