To stop fights before they escalate set some boundaries with your partner for when you disagree.
Different things will work for different couples and these will need to be negotiated between you and your partner.
7 Ways to Stop Fights Escalating
Here are some tools that couples may use to avoid fights from escalating –
1. Take note of how you are feeling
When you need to bring up an issue with your partner, weigh up how you are feeling at the time – have you had a stressful day and need to blow off steam? If so, it may be worth waiting to address the issue tomorrow when you are feeling calmer.
2. Stay focussed on the issue
Try to stay focused on the issue rather than arguing about the details or trivia surrounding the issue.
3. Be aware of your feelings
It is important to be mindful of your actual feelings around the issue and to try to express to your partner. Expressing your feelings using sentences starting with “I” may assist your partner in understanding how you are feeling and promote clear communication.
4. Walk away (when appropriate)
If you sense a disagreement is escalating to an unhealthy place, walk away for an agreed period of time. This could be negotiated with your partner during a period when you are not arguing – “If I feel an argument escalating in the future I will try to walk away for 15 minutes, that will give us both time to calm down, get our thoughts together and we can come back and try to resolve the issue. Do you think that would be a suitable length of time?”
5. Use a codeword
Create a codeword with your partner, such as ‘red flag’. A codeword can be a useful signal to your partner that you can feel an argument is escalating further then it should and that it could be detrimental to continue the discussion at that period of time.
6. Write down the issue
Sometimes writing dowm the problem can make the issue clearer to yourself as well as your partner.
7. Seek relationship counselling
If you or your partner feel that you could benefit from assistance with resolving a conflict, or putting some safe measures in place to ensure arguments are resolved in a healthy way, relationship counselling may help.www.visioncounselling.com.au Published: 09/04/2014 Image Reference: Dollar Photo Club